December 8, 2013 3 Comments
Good sensible words – a little mantra perhaps (“it is the price of love”) for those struggling to go forward. Thoughts of my friends during this festive month, to all those who read here and who find it even harder at this time of the year. I’m sending a positive prayer to let you know that I am thinking of you, my very best wishes that you continue well, and hope too that you find much needed solace.
December 7, 2013 No Comments
Having recently been reading the blogs of several of my widowed friends who lost their husbands about the time of the loss of my dear Hamada and their continued surprise that after three years or more, they are still feeling so much pain. My heart goes out to them daily and I understand their dismay at not being able to ‘move on’. Grief is so different from person to person, just as days are different for us all. Days that are filled with fun and busyness with not much time for reflection are good when you are grieving but they do not happen everyday and are so much more preferable to the days of quiet thoughtfulness. Why do we need I ask, to concern ourselves so much with ‘moving on?’ Yes, we have a duty to show a good cheerful face to the world and to our families and friends. For who wants to spend time with a sad-sack who is constantly looking backwards, casts a shadow on every occasion and not really much fun to be with?
We must try at least to continue well and be supportive friends and a nice person without sadness to be with. But privately you cannot always ‘swallow your grief ‘ and why should you? It is so intrinsically bound up with who you are now and how you feel deep inside. It would be fool-hardy to deny these feelings when they emerge and engulf us.
These feelings of loss help me to continue well in my daily life and I must have these moments of deep quiet reflection and I use this time to pull the good memories and sometimes the not so good, out to ‘lay in front of me’ for a time, to clear my head and my heart of the loss I still feel.
I love to read books and sonnets of powerful overwhelming love that has been lost. We are not the first or will we be the last to feel acute pain. I use favourite books and quotes that bring comfort to me, that if I am completely honest make me understand the pain I often feel even three years further on. I miss my special man – will that ever change I doubt it and nothing will bring him back to me. But I refuse on occasions not to acknowledge the deep pain of missing him on those quiet reflective days I talk about.
Occasionally I post quotes that mean a lot to me. Words that I would have loved to have written myself, words I believe, that sum up the way many of us who have lost our special person are feeling now. Words that many of you who read here, will understand well. I would like if I may to share them with you:
Grief is different, Grief has no distance. Grief comes in waves, paroxysms, sudden apprehension that weakens the knees and blinds the eyes and obliterate the dailiness of life. – Joan Didion – The Year of Magical Thinking.
A single person is missing you and the whole world is empty – Philippe Aries – Western Attitudes Towards Death
To mourn is to be eaten alive with homesickness for the person – Olive Ann Burns, Cold sassy tree.
My wind is turned to bitter north that was so soft a south before… Arthur Hugh Clough – A Song of Autumn
People imagine that missing a loved one is kind of like missing cigarettes. The first day is really hard but the next day is less hard and so forth, easier and easier the longer you go on. But instead it’s like missing water. Every day you notice the person’s absence more - Anne Tyler, Back to when we were grown-ups.
A bird sings, but they have no song that I can hear – Beryl Markham – West with the Night.
Yes words of sadness they certainly are, but I believe helpful in the understanding of the grieving process that so many of us have difficulty in absorbing, often desire to wish away, and to think we should not be feeling now. But I believe profoundly that we have a private right to grieve, and should not wish this pain away – embrace it, for your heart will never heal if you deny it the time to do so.
Continue to feel your loss my friends without apologies and yes succumb to it on occasions – it is after all our biggest connection to those we loved and must never be under-estimated in the healing process.
Blessings and Peace my friends.
October 23, 2013 4 Comments
We returned to Marbella again my friends. And again I was lured by the seductive notes of bergamot, oranges and sunshine, charmed by the beauty of the panoramic mountain views, the dripping pink and white bougainvillea, the deep blue of the Mediterranean that matched the cloudless sky. High up in the Sierra de Ronda’s in magical Andalusia this hot October of 2013 was sublime.
As my readers here know, Marbella and Puerto Banus are favourite places of mine, not I might add in the summer months when it is too crowded and these very pretty places change like a chameleon when the majority of its five million annual visitors arrive during the months of July and August. I dislike crowds at any time, so prefer to visit in October and if lucky to have as we did the most agreeable weather, then it becomes a perfect paradise.
Our luxury modern apartment sitting high above the world or so it seemed to me afforded us a magnificent view from the large terrace as far as our eyes could see, looking forward to the Mediterranean Sea and down on landscaped gardens of topiary and vivid green lawns across the deep verdant valley of exotic trees and to the side a mountain range with added injections of huge white and terracotta villas scattered across the hills which could if allowed, take your breath away!
Each day on the large terrace we would enjoy our breakfast of delicious fruits, croissants, cheeses and rich olives, sometimes a gentle omelette and always good strong coffee whilst breathing in this sweet smelling air and admiring this fabulous view.
We would sit out in the warm evening air with only the glow from candles to light us and after a very good dinner either in Marbella or Puerto Banus or sometimes cooked up high in our own special heavenly world and with our delicious wine we would settle to watch the stars and the fast moving satellites well into the night. What could be better than that I ask?
Marbella if literally translated would mean beautiful sea and it is just that. These days, the city is internationally known for its jet-set ambience and superb variety of activities offered to visiting tourists. Perhaps my love for Marbella has arrived from its valuable richness in the Arab culture. It draws me in, is charming, seductive and the town and green parks are supremely attractive. Now fast becoming our favourite place and visited every year is the wonderful seaside Grand Café which is known as Cappuccino.
Situated on the Calle de Jose Melia at the base of the fabulous luxury “Hotel Gran Melia Don Pepe” The enchanting Cappuccino is set amongst lush green pine and palm trees, this for me is the place to take time to absorbed the ambiance and the aroma that is perfectly Marbella. To sit quietly with friends or in jovial fun to ‘drink-in’ the warmth of the sun, the beautiful surroundings with its mixture of classic beauty and its own vibes of Latin rhythms, soft jazz and bossanova sounds that make this the place of relaxation that it truly is. With its lively selection of cocktails, superb coffees, delicate teas, delicious cakes and pastries and a marvellous selection of outstanding lunches and dinners. It is an outstanding place of relaxation. Where else is the service so fine, so attentive, where else could you sit in comfortable reverie better than this, enjoying your own Marbella.
Then of course no trip to Marbella could be complete without a visit to Puerto Jose Banus, now more commonly known as Puerto Banus. It is situated southwest of Marbella and has since the days of the 1970′s become one of the largest entertainment centres in the Costa del Sol, so very popular with international celebrities, the rich and famous, royalty and just you and I.
Developed around this once tiny fishing village, Puerto Banus now contains expensive shopping malls, restaurants, bars set around the beautiful Marina where the mega wealthy own large seafaring yachts of magnificence The scene at most times of the day but especially at night, of many exotic cars; Ferrari’s, Lamborghinis and the latest Mercedes are common place, viewed with great interest and driven with much pride and sometimes much arrogance! It is a people watching paradise and if like me you love to do this – it is second to none. It is fun to stroll either in the morning when it takes on a fresh clean feel as the front of the designer shops receive their daily wash and brush-up and the views back to the Sierras are sublime from the Harbour House. Perhaps later in the evening make your selection from the many good restaurants along the boardwalk, to sit and digest this ambience which still holds much charm especially out of season if the weather is as good as we have enjoyed this October then it can’t be bettered.
A short drive away and not to be missed even if you are usually a beach lover is the amazing little town of Casarabonela now commonly known as Casara – it is still part of the municipality of Malaga and is situated 48km from the capital of Malaga so quite nearby to visit when in Marbella. It has a population of approximately 2,500 residents which seems impossible to me but not I suppose when you think of all the tiny alleyways and steps up and down that lead to these tiny homes. The name derives from the Arabicقصر بنيرة – QaSr Bunayra – The Alcazar or Palace of Bonera.
The scenery is picturesque, so take your time on the drive. Suddenly you turn a bend in the road and are treated to a spectacular view of this tiny village with its medieval fortress. This tiny village set like sugar cubes piled high precariously gripping the mountain side is a picture postcard village. Many white villages in Spain are beautiful for sure but the view when sighting Casara is spectacular causing the visitor to simply stare and the wish to walk its tiny lanes. We found it had a rather strange feel- shall we say watchful residents, perhaps something was going-on the day we visited but never-the-less it is well worth a look-see and I would like to return again to study this pretty little village even more.
No holiday to Marbella would be complete without a stroll around old Marbella, I have spoken of my love for this place in a previous post but just to repeat once again that this magical place still delights me so and is simply a must-do.
We rambled and searched out the quaint little shops of lace, having such fun in one tiny shop when it appeared that the only changing room was the pulling together and fixing with a pin to make a privacy curtain, of just two hanging dresses at the main door!
We rooted out the antique costume jewellery, we wandered the tiny white lanes of tapas bars and street cafes, stopped to view the enticing courtyards beyond the old doors of tiny spotless white houses. No hurry here as we admired the churches and the architecture, no hurry Old Marbella is after all, to be relished.
As usual it was a splendid holiday but do things become more poignant when your are older? I believe they do. I drink-in the views, absorb the culture of old Marbella, breathe-in the jasmine and sweet eucalyptus filled air and consume the many memories that for me are sun related; I am alive and very comfortable with the warmth of the sun, a feathery touch on my back, bringing a glow to my heart. Swimming in the twinkly infinity pool made diamonds of joy pour forth. The company was fabulous and our laughter echoed daily across the Sierras. A perfect holiday…yes. And it was much more besides.
October 16, 2013 8 Comments
In September I took a little trip to the highlands of Scotland. Having never travelled so far north west before this was something excitingly new for me. Making a round journey of approximately 950 miles over four days was a busy scenic filled time. It is surprising how much you can pack into a few well chosen days with good planning and an excellent driver. Leaving Lincolnshire in the very early hours of the morning was obligatory to cover a large part of the miles before the roads became busy and the world awakens, strange for me at a time when I am usually just falling asleep but exciting just the same.
A little stop on the way for some walking and climbing at Thirlmere in the Lake District broke the journey well and then onwards towards Scotland by passing Carlisle and with a little diversion to Gretna Green for a visit to the Famous Old Blacksmiths Shop, the very place of high emotion’s felt by the countless thousands who have rushed to Gretna Green, some as young as twelve for girls and fourteen for boys starting as early as the 17th Century. Young lovers dashing in the dead of night with frenzied horsemen in hot pursuit passed my mind. This place of all those romantic novels, all those stories of ‘love’ in haste, rushing to be joined together in matrimony. Gretna Green has changed now of course with up-market places to stay, restaurants, shops and even a maze! Taking away in my opinion the romantic feel that had so drawn folk to this place for all those many years. Still as I stood there, it was good to try to recall how many had travelled to be married in this unique place. And I was glad to have seen it.
Onwards on this marvellous journey passing the town of Lockerbie and quietly remembering the tragedy and devastation that was the Pan Am Flight 103 of 21st December 1988 but let’s not talk of that now. So on to Beattock Nr the Town of Moffett for the first over-night stop, a super country house so perfectly set amongst tall trees at the end of a very long single-track drive, high above Beattock. Just the perfect place to unwind for a short time. The lovely home of Sally and her sweet Collie dog Meg who welcomed us like old friends. The tall high ceilinged rooms with spacious bedrooms and bathrooms made this quite the perfect house and the huge wonderful Scottish breakfast in the lovely sun-lit drawing room the next morning completed the start of this good trip.
Destination today was Fort William in the Western Highlands. Fort William is the largest town in the Highlands and situated at the southern end of the Great Glen. It lies in the shadow of Ben Nevis. Fort William is a fine location to use as a base to discover the Western Highlands. The scenic Edinburgh route was chosen, so up to Stirling, onwards via Loch Lomond, passing outstanding views along the way, through Lochearnhead, Crianlarich and across the Bridge of Orchy and on to Glencoe. Glencoe is probably Scotland’s most famous and most scenic Glen and rightly so. The sheer scale and grandeur of the surrounding mountains is totally awe inspiring and Glencoe being Scotland’s oldest Ski Centre has a great reputation as a venue for the more experienced skier, it was established in 1956.
Thoughts came to mind of Glencoe’s turbulent past. As early in the morning of the 13 February 1692 in the aftermath of the Glorious Revolution and the Jacobite uprising of 1689, a massacre took place in Glencoe. You can imagine it all as you raise your eyes to the crags and epic mountains surrounding this special place. Visitors from all over the world flock here to appreciate this majestic place.
I spent the whole time while travelling gazing in awe at the mountains on either side of me and at the changing scenery and the shadows, casting light and darkness at every bend in the road. Having never travelled to the Highlands before this was a totally new experience for me and it filled my heart with its power and darkly rich colours, as my eyes drunk-in amazing scenes before me.
And so it was. as stopping for the second night at a super guest house facing the spectacular blue views of Loch Linnhe on the outskirts of Fort William, I stood and breathed in the sharp crisp air of the Western Highlands. Then time for stretching legs, a good shower then off to look for something nice for supper. For tomorrow was to be a most exciting day with the long awaited 84 mile journey on the stupendous magical steam train “The Jacobite” (Hogworts of the Harry Potter Fame)
Described as one of the great railway journeys of the world The Jacobite Steam train takes you past a list of very impressive extremes. It starts with much excitement as passengers take their seats after admiring the black steely beast.
Starting near the highest mountain in Britain Ben Nevis, which stands hugely proud against a bold backdrop, excitement mounts as the train builds steam and soon you are passing the most westerly mainland railway station, Arisaig; then to pass close- by to the deepest freshwater loch in Britain, Loch Morar and then on to the shortest river River Morar, finally arriving alongside the deepest seawater loch in Europe, Loch Nevis. The train stops on route at the village of Glenfinnan before passing over the iconic Glenfinnan Viaduct – now is the time for the best photo you can muster as the train almost turns on itself above this marvellous feat of engineering!
Beyond Glenfinnan are the so very beautiful villages of Lochailort, Morar and then the small quaint fishing village and final stop the village of Mallaig. From hear on a clear crystal day you can see the “Small Isles” of Rum, Eigg, Muck, Canna and the southern tip of Skye. The train passes Mora and the silvery beaches used in the films “Highlander” and “Local Hero”.
The sun shone all the way, the scenery was as beautiful as I have ever seen in all of my life and my heart soared at the delight of it all. The fishing village and small port of Mallaig was so picture perfect, the small houses resting gently on the side of the hills perched above the quay, the colours of the small boats and the huge fat well fed seagulls with their cries of anguish content completed the scene. Time for a warming coffee before the return journey, a stroll and for picture taking, no rush; for I believe no one rushes here. I visited St Patrick’s RC Church for Fishermen just at the base of the village which was open and unafraid of crime, something most unusual these days. It was peaceful, it was pretty there at Mallaig.
An exciting journey back with bustle and happy folk capturing their last photos of this special trip, drinking-in the last of the spectacular views and soon we arrived at Fort William, my head and heart filled with visions of this enchanting part of our lovely Island. This was a special trip of light and love, how lucky I am…
October 1, 2013 4 Comments
~Competition piece to raise funds for St Margaret’s~
August 15, 2013 9 Comments
July 23, 2013 19 Comments
A Remembered Journey on The Cornish Riviera Express -1950
The Cornish Riviera Express is a British express passenger train that has run between London and Penzance in Cornwall since 1904. Introduced by the Great Western Railway the name Cornish Riviera Express has been applied to the late morning express train from London Paddington Station to Penzance Station continuously through nationalisation under British Rail and privatisation under First Great Western only ceasing briefly during the two World Wars.
Photos: Courtesy of Peter R Foster.
June 29, 2013 8 Comments
Scroll down in the comments to read the moving letter from Karen on http://www.susiehemingway.com/2013/05/07/the-fight-without-choice/
June 24, 2013 2 Comments
Time to update ‘My Diary’ I think, having been very quiet here of late but my life has certainly been rushing on a pace in these last few weeks.
Having been lucky to have had a wonderful trip across southern Spain from Alicante and then up through enchanting Granada and on to magical Seville in Andalusia. Returning to a lot of catching-up in the garden, family visits and many chores needing to be done around my little home here in the Lincolnshire Wolds, more writing and with three or four trips to the gym weekly, I have been most remiss here – so a little about my travels first:
I started my journey flying into Alicante, the old place never seems to change much over the years but of course there are many changes from my first visit there in the 60′s
I so enjoyed it this time, good to give it a ‘once over’ again and the chance to walk everywhere, as it was not the boiling temperatures of mid-summer. I relished the leafy back lanes away from the main streets although I did stroll the entire length of the main promenade one early morning – the port in Alicante is so pretty in the early morning light with its affluence of beautiful yachts and speed boats set in quite chic surroundings- here it is much updated in recent years, with it’s chrome filled restaurants and espresso smelling coffee shops but it still retains some of its original charm and as usual out of season for me, it always looks it’s best. Staying in a great little boutique hotel which was set in a small alley just behind the main street, not plush in anyway but having everything needed for a short stay, a one-step too for the restaurants and bars and perfectly near for late night strolls.
After a few days it was on the road for a mammoth one day journey of 595 km across the southern part of Spain ending in Seville. The roads are so good here and It was wonderful to see the Sierra Nevada’s in the distance.
Granada was delightful and I need to go again to cover more of this enchanting city but no journey is complete without a visit to Alhambra which is of course everything that is written about it. Time was short there but I felt the ambiance of this magical place and it is on my agenda to return again and spend some study time there.
Seville is for me everything you imagine inland Spain to be, truly abundant and steep in rich cultural heritage. Best to divided the central area into four parts to make sightseeing a little easier, La Macarena, El Arenal, Santa Cruz and Parque Maria Luisa and then across the river which really makes up a fifth part.
No one can go to Seville and not take in the Cathedral and La Giralda, Reales Alcazares and the Museo de Bellas Artes but there is so much more. The wonderful warren of white alleys of the Barrio De Santa Cruz in the old Jewish quarter appealed to me greatly. It is a most picturesque corner of the city. Full of wonderful little shops and tapas bars and the atmosphere on a warm spring evening is electric. Wonderful for a late evening stroll with a promise of a good dinner at the end. I was so lucky to stay in a super Hotel here in Seville, with all the lovely special things to make the stay even more pleasurable and so able to re-coup a bit for the next days sightseeing. There is so much to see and I could not cover it all but I promise myself to visit this lovely part of Spain again God willing…
And so I returned to London just in time for a grand reunion with 130 old friends from my days in the desert of Al Ain in the UAE – we took over the Ruby Room in “Jewels” a London Nightclub, to meet up again after 25 years. A super evening was had by all and the plans are in place for the next one to be held back in Al Ain in 2015 – I sincerely hope to make that!
And so to conclude – I have been spending my days since my return with some good work around my little home – replacing much needed worn fencing in the rear of the property, gardening, and general up-keep, although it never looks much different I must try to keep the old homestead going and at least neat and tidy.
I have also been lucky to have had some really super dates and lovely dinners out and a recent trip to a pop concert, which was totally wonderful and took me back to years ago and the lovely music of that time, it was difficult not get up and dance!
So my friends, life goes on a pace and as I am lucky to be well, my intentions are to thoroughly enjoy this part of my life. I am returning to Marbella later this year and I am so looking forward to that but will not wish my life away and so I make the most of each given day in quiet ways - for life is good. All best wishes to my dear friends who continue to read here – I pray for those who need comfort in times of ill health and for those caring for their precious loved ones. Stay strong and may many blessings come your way. We will chat again soon.
June 11, 2013 6 Comments
June 10, 2013 No Comments
May 7, 2013 13 Comments
One hundred and thirty old friends converged on a London night club, for ‘Jewels’ we all are! To reminisce we must – to reminisce we did. For were we not the pioneers of those desert days? For did we not help shape things to come? “I knew your husband” one sweet man said. ”I remember your face” said another. We squealed with delight when across a close friend we came. Pretty ladies exchanged their gifts of words, their memories and their smiles, as music from those ’80′s days played loud and clear, our thoughts returned to the hot indolent days and torpid nights of our treasured paradise, merging with the vibrant dancing that was now.
Handsome men stood together, enjoying their beers, remembering Rugby on stony terrain and Hash House Harriers running through ‘najoods’ in boiling arid heat. Oh yes not much was forgotten at the desert reunion! Sweet memories of twinkling nights atop Jebal Hafeet, the tastes and smells of the “Golden Sheep” “The Hilton” and “The Intercont”. Cooling sun- downers at the end of a sweltering day, the brushstrokes of these clear memories like a perfect piece of art. Friends made in a life together under a turquoise sky, bonds made in this desert oasis that will not be broken even though years pass.
Our laughter in London was an echo of past times, still beautiful now with the changing years. Stay well dear friends until we meet again… Susie Hemingway Moursi
May 3, 2013 8 Comments
For sometime now I have received requests for my “Poems of Love” to be made into Audio Tapes. Recently a dear friend from Sweden asked me to please considered this again, so he may upload them to his phone to carry with him. He had enjoyed listening to my poem ” I Write For You”, read during the BBC interview, and he would like to hear more. This dear man also suffers with Multiple Myeloma and so of course I wish to support MM as much as I can.
It has now been deemed viable for me to record a selection of my readers favourite poems from over the past years. Already I have had requests for ones that are personally liked from my book “The Power Within” and also ones that were not included in the book but are still on www.susiehemingway.blogspot.com and here too from more recent poems.
So I will be going into the recording studio at the beginning of May to record a selection of my love poems.
Dear readers, should you have a poem of mine that you would like to hear me read, please leave the title in the comment section below or email me and I will endeavour to include your favourite in the first recordings.
April 2, 2013 11 Comments
If I could let you go as a flower lets
its petals fall one by one when life is finished,
unfettered, unbinding, unattached,
what a release that would be.
If I could one by one let loose these ties between us
let them fall and float to safely keep,
and so to live again.
if I could.
If I could shed my yearnings like an Autumn tree
that loosens it grip on burnished leaves
what joy that would be!
To bury those petals and leaves alongside my love
as a healing token to keep safe, to store my love.
I would – if I could.
For love lies sleeping in my heart
like a beautiful flower or a strong tree
which will not die or season change
which will not release me,
but will endure for all time.
If I could let you go.
Surely I would – if I could… .
March 11, 2013 6 Comments