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The Yorkshire Moors – at Darnholme

 
High way above all mortal things
I touch the white scudding vaporous clouds of heaven,
In views that captures gold’s and ambers, burnt and used
in shades of burnished Autumn.
I breathed the air of peaty leaves dry and trodden,
across damp moss and rustic trampled ferns beneath my feet a story tells…
 
High in England’s lush green land,
the last of wayward Summer reaches my nose,
crunchy cinders beneath my feet call this beauty to me.
The bending track lays silently beneath the ancient stones of tiny handmade bridges,
as round the bend comes chugging “Nunney Castle” it’s white plumage of steam and tooting calls.
Faces press closely the panes of vision, recalling the many journeys made across these pastures, vales and leas of changing hues.
 
This beloved land softly speaks to me, this right, this heritage, this beauty.
This much loved England…
 
 
Photo: Courtesy and Copyrighted with thanks  to Peter Foster.

September 29, 2014   2 Comments

“The Way To Affirmation” by Susie Hemingway.

 

 It was thrilling to be a small part of this newly published book by Michael Vocino (former Dean of Libraries at the University of Rhode Island) and Alfred G. Killilea (Teacher of Political Theory at The University of Rhode Island) Shown here is an extract from my article “The Way To Affirmation” I recommend this nicely put together book “Befriending Death”, for further understanding  of human mortality: Now available from Amazon.

 

“The Way To Affirmation”

Married to my only love for almost thirty years and after a bravely fought battle to survive, Hamada lost his fight for life in November 2010. After a few months of grieving and resting my body and mind, for caregivers are exhausted after much time and many years in some cases, spent caring and nursing.    We do for others what we might never dream of doing for ourselves and the struggle was hard, as this good man had the strongest will to live!  We bravely go beyond barriers unknown to us. We fight battles, challenge medical authorities to negotiate the best care possible. Hamada fought every step of the way to continue to stay with us, accepting every treatment available, as many do. After his death I recalled the wise words of this clever man, these words spoken during his illness and a lot towards the end, requesting that I continue to live my life well and with joy. Difficult yes! But affirming life in the face of death is just that, the most difficult and painful road in the highway of life. How easy it would be to succumb and hide away with my grief as I know many choose to do. I so wanted that at times, feeling that I had nothing more to live for, but the dawn rises every day when all else is lost and for me it would have been a dishonour to this amazing man who fought through every treatment to survive. Affirmation!  Yes a serious and solemn declaration of affection for the essence of this good man.

I decided as my body returned to life once more, that I would honour my husband’s memory and go forth with joy and a smile on my face and live the life he so wanted to do.

Embracing the years I have left in the best way I can, will be my affirmation. Watching and absorbing all that he can no longer see or do. Knowing and learning more about this world we live in and accepting my life now with the joy he taught me when we were together.  No it will never be the same, but it will be the best I can do without him.  It will be mastered in his honour.

First before affirmation, comes the shock, the numbness, denial, depression, fear and then acceptance. Only when you accept and only then, can you affirm life in the aftermath of death. Hamada loved to have fun and so shall I.  The smile on my face will be the affirmation of my life lived with him; all we achieved together, all he taught me about living and what a waste if I do not make the most of these remaining years in the best way I can. Affirmation of a life lived well in his loving memory.

September 8, 2014   1 Comment

Leaving On A Jet Plane.

.
Logistics being somewhat different this year for our annual visit to southern Spain we left Wingrave Bucks in the early hours for a fast car run to London’s City Airport, a most exciting start to this super holiday. First time flying from the Docklands Airport for me  and I must say our party of happy travellers were very impressed. I loved the early glow of morning views to this interesting and now magical part of our capital city, as sunrise fast approached over this part of London with its very modern skyscrapers and viewing the docklands airport runway, seeming a mere strip in my excited eyes and somewhat short; was the perfect start to our much awaited holiday.
How very efficient is London City Airport and with not a moment kept waiting we  proceeded Airside to its very good coffee lounge, a nice aroma of good coffee always embraces and pleases my senses particularly in the early hours. We comfortably boarded the BA city flyer- Embraer190 Jet and flew steeply up and out over a newly waking London, I loved it. Could anything be more exciting?
 
A few facts here for those that like and are reading from other parts of the world.. London City Airport is located on a former Docklands Site in the London Borough of Newham. It has a single 1,500 metre long runway and only multi engine fixed-wing aircraft with special aircraft and aircrew certification to fly 5.5 approaches, are allowed to conduct operations at London City Airport.
My son Jo who always arranges these marvellous trips has everything down to a fine-art. Good car that manages all our luggage, parking is always made easy and everything laid ready for a most enjoyable holiday.  The short trip down to this favourite place  on leaving Malaga Airport to the Los Arquerous Apartments in Benahavis, Andalucía – Nr Marbella, is a pretty drive, glimpsing the coast and the blue sea beyond  – tis perfect. 
 
 
This year we had a penthouse apartment with a wonderful roof terrace with plenty of shade and a roof top shower and loads of comfortable seating arrangements which plus our normal wraparound balcony was a real delight. Where almost every evening we sat under twinkling stars late into the night over dinner and drinks. The weather was just amazing this year, with long hot days usually starting with a short early mist which cleared into blistering hot dry days. We spent most of these swimming in the infinity pool, set in the stunning sweet smelling, flowered filled gardens and enjoying the beautiful  view we have come to know and love over the past years.
Our first port of call when arriving is always the Mercadona, a large supermarket a little way from our location but the one we considered to be the absolute best. Marvellous produce in every department and to be honest much better quality than our regular supermarkets here in the UK. We do just one big shop perhaps topping up if needed on fresh fruit and extra water but we usually managed to get it just right after these years of going. The food in Spain is high quality, superb fruit and vegetables, great fish, meat and chicken and it is considerably cheaper than here.
 
 Of course no holiday, which is after all a special occasion, is without treats, so we select just everything we fancy, plus lots of special drinks and mixers to make-up Jo’s fabulous cocktails. Favourites are always Mojitos, long and cooling with their abundance of mint, especially nice for hot days. Something new this year and something different on Jo’s repertoire to our cocktail range was the “Carmel Sunset” made with Knebep the delicious Vodka Based Spirit, also the favourite Espresso Martinis which are a real treat at sundown.
We did eat out a couple of times during our stay normally at the clubhouse where the standard is very high, but apart from midday at the wonderful Cappuccino Grand Café, we did not eat out in the evening in Marbella as we were there in the busy month of August so we chose quieter locations that were much preferred in the heat.
We also spent a day in Gibraltar, not visited for me since 1967. Not much had changed, it was nice to  see The Rock Hotel still standing!
 An interesting visit and an enjoyable day, going of course to the top, for the marvellous views across the bay and to visit once again the man-made caves but for me Gibraltar has lost much of its charm of earlier years, looking most shabby in parts now, not much seems to have be spent on maintaining the uniqueness it once engaged. Still our party enjoyed a very nice late luncheon in one of the squares close to the moored luxury boats. Luckily arriving at ‘Happy Hour!’
Friends made on holiday are all part of the travelling process and bring extra pleasure and delight to these trips. In the beautiful area where we enjoyed our leisure time were three super families that met up at the same time every year. It was so nice to see these caring families enjoying the time with their children in harmony and much joy. Such daily water fun often when they had returned from a day on the beach -  which certainly helped the younger ones with their learning of swimming skills, all under the watchful eyes of family and friends. Creating lasting memories of happy times spent in the sun. I hope we meet up with these lovely folk once again…somehow I think we will.
I would like to thank here my dear son  who arranges these lovely luxury trips of the highest calibre and for putting-up with four ladies – he is amazing and caters for our every need and truly deserves a medal. Love you Yousef x
You can see some more of our holiday snaps on my flickr page over at https://www.flickr.com/photos/susiehemingway/ should you wish. I am now back in my little village which I love and although always enjoy embracing the warmth of Southern Spain I am content to return…until next time of course… 
  

August 28, 2014   2 Comments

“How Heavenly” – Dedicated to the loving memory of Maeve Craven.

 
How heavenly are the roses that bloom
turning heads to sun in June
tiny faces in perfect form
that scatter their smiles on the lawn
majestic, abundant and heavens gift
that give of their beauty, and our hearts a lift…

 

“No spring or winter has such grace
as I have seen in one little face…
 
This little verse is dedicated to the memory of Maeve Craven, much loved Mother of Karen who died in June 2014.

June 30, 2014   3 Comments

This Perfect Day – A Personal Perspective:

We awoke to a grey rainy morning the skies the colour of old gun metal. My heart felt heavy although I knew nothing of course would spoil this special day but how lovely would it be if the sun shone down on this little village of ours, warming the colours of the pasture land and sending the dapple rays we know so well across the lanes and up to the path of our little church.

Much preparation had been done in the days and weeks before when the weather had been unusually warm for May and in all our minds the sun just had to be shining at least for the most important time of our beautiful bride arriving and the departure from the church to the perfect green carpet walkway winding its way through the grounds of this beautiful garden to the Marquee…

I had fed my house-guests well – a large breakfast to set them-up for the day and after clearing away the dishes I took myself off to my room to prepare for the wedding of dear Ellie and Stuart. The rain continued to pour, running off the gutters and down the drive so forcibly that even Noah would have been proud. Perhaps a prayer might help an imploring to the heavens, maybe if I begged earnestly the almighty would listen? So placing a disc of favourite music and something appropriate for the occasion I selected Al Giochi - Romeo & Juliet sung by the powerful Luciano Pavarotti, this strong robust tenor at a suitably high volume would certainly do the trick and a quiet prayer to my Hamada-who loved this song -to have a  word with the Almighty to change his designs on the weather for today, just this once please but the rain continued to pour…

At about mid-day I thought a nice Bucks-Fizz would go down well. I prepared these and then continued with my intonations when a lovely voice came from the front of the house  “I can see a small patch of blue over towards the west!” We dared not to hope but slowly the rain eased and the watery sun appeared. And so this perfect day unfolded like a beautiful wished for flower forming from a bud into perfection.

I have a job not to cry at weddings being the eternal optimist in all things romantic and this wedding was no exception. Ellie my much loved niece, had found her perfect man in Stuart. Tall and handsome, kind and compassionate they were entirely perfect for each other in every way. Her natural beauty and the gasps of admiration for this stunning bride in her exquisite lace wedding gown could be heard in the intake of breath from all assembled. The service was quite perfect the Rev Avril in her amazingly charming and confident manner guiding the way. More tears from me when I saw my fourteen year old Grandson Manu resplendent in tuxedo, looking so mature and handsome bearing the rings. How very smart and stylish the best men, the brides father/bridegroom’s father looked in their tux.  How very beautiful the Matrons of Honour in their delicate pale green dresses, serenely matching the foliage in their bouquets of cream roses and blending with the sweet smelling newly mown, rain fresh grass and the beautiful trees surrounding this now sunlit churchyard. We sang with gusto, we sang with praise and thanked the lord for giving us the sunlit rays now coming through the old mauve leaded lights of the arched windows that were filled with wide masses of cream roses We sang to bless this beautiful couple. We sang in praise of how lucky we are to be together to rejoice in their love and joy.

I had tears in my eyes as I watch my dear sister lift  back Ellie’s veil and then again when her father Ian laid his hands gently over the hands of this lovely couple as prayers were said. And lastly the beautiful singing and guitar playing of my youngest son Jo, his voice lifted and soared to new heights echoing his rich tones over our heads so even the Almighty could hear the praising of the day and the love that filled this church of ours. Thank goodness for the white linen handkerchief my dear friend passed to me, which was damp with joyous emotion.

The assembled guests, family and many friends stopped for photographs outside the little church and in the courtyard of the nearby country house, as the sun came out to greet us, delicious perfectly chilled champagne and canapés were served by the many waiters and waitress’s weaving cleverly and skilfully amongst the guests.. Ellie and Stuart left for a quiet moment together and for private special photos and arrived to joined us all in the garden in a fabulous 30′s Beauford Bentley-Styled beauty of a car, entering slowly through the main gates of this stunning house and gardens.

The trees hung with white wicker hearts and the rails of the churchyard were festooned with handmade celebration flag bunting, perfectly made by Ellies mum Jenny and lining the length of the gardens. Beautiful young woman in an array of pretty summery frocks walked arm in arm with their handsome partners along the pale green carpet that laid across the grass. Close family all dressed in their finest attire with loving smiles on their faces so happy to greet relatives not seen for a while.  Jenny and Ian, Ellie parents, looking resplendent  in their superb wedding clothes beaming with pride at their gorgeous Ellie and her charming Prince. A storybook affair of magical visionary arrangements and just as a country wedding should be and something conjured-up only in the dreams of young girls.

The large Marquee continued the pale green theme, sharp white tablecloths with pale green fine linen napkins, silver cutlery, sparkling silver candelabras on each of the five long tables, holding long white candles, the crystal chandeliers shone enchantingly.  The whole marquee twinkling in its simplicity and design. The long tables reaching from end to end of the Marquee given the names of chateaus in honour of Ellie and Stuarts engagement in France. Perfectly written name places and a menu better than the finest restaurant. Superb French wines and champagne continued this theme. There was a cocktail bar to one-side and a chill-out area comprising of curved backed wicker sofas and again the matching colour of the pale green cushions set the scene. A wooden dance floor with a DJ ready for action. A pianist greeted us as he played gentle music while we took our seats for a very special ‘wedding breakfast’ How difficult to describe how enchanting it all was, perhaps my photos may help in some way.

The speeches were wonderful!! Totally entertaining and amusing too. Stuart recalling how they met and fell in love, with some amusing tales of the early days of their romance, spoken clearly and with great confidence and such a pleasing way he played with his words of love! The father of the bride making us laugh with tales of Ellie’s younger years  – especially her girlfriends who’s chuckles could be heard around the marquee as they listen to the recalling of fun girly days of the past and remembered their teenage years, all friends growing-up together. Then my eldest son Matt stood, an important role as Ellie’s Godfather, consummate in delivery of an amusing and in places poignant gathering of clever phrases and words that made us smile as he recalled many special family moments. But the speech that stole the show entirely was from my Grandson Manu who spoke of his love for Ellie and Stuart and for the fun they enjoy together and a perfectly funny tale about Stuart, when he was staying over at their home – we laugh and laughed at the funny  antics of this time, delivered so confidently and with such great aplomb and even ad-libbing that brought much laughter and the ‘house down’ with clapping and cheering at the end. Manu is just fourteen years of age!

We ate wonderful culinary delights, we dance with gay abandon well into the early hours. We drank cocktails, raspberry mojitos! We chatted with family and friends enjoying every single moment. I looked and listened and drank-in the atmosphere of this perfect day – for this was my beloved family who had planned and worked hard to achieve perfection and  if only I could convey to you my readers, just how very special it all was.

The love of this gorgeous couple will last the test of time of that I’m sure. For when love is found it is seen in the depths of the eyes and faces of those that truly love. The effort of romance starts with small seeds of devotion to each other that grow and cultivate into the years of all our tomorrows.

Celebrate your loved one in creating memories of kindness and of respect. In nurture of each other, praise and thank them daily for the joy they bring to you, for this will create a life of harmony and a love that will grow into longevity. Life brings ups and downs to us all but bonds made strong in the early days and in the new flush of romance build the strength to carry you through the tough times. Be kind to each other daily, taking time to listen to each others needs and most of all rejoice in your love.

Dreams are made of perfect days like this, love brings so much, for it is the greatest of all life’s gifts…

 

Specially Remembered Things:  Bowls of Love-Heart  Sweets- Soft Pashmina’s for the ladies just in case they needed to get cosy.  REAL bathrooms in a Marquee!- with every imaginable cosmetic you just might need.  A long Mirror, Special hangers for your precious hats. Oh and so much more…

More Photos of this lovely day can be found at https://www.flickr.com/photos/susiehemingway/ 

June 1, 2014   21 Comments

Exciting Times!

It has been a glorious week. A week of sunny balmy days with little puffs of  gentle breeze, a cloudless blue sky which cast a Midas touch across this pasture land. How good this has been for us as we start to count down the days to the wedding of my dear niece Ellie and her beloved Stuart here in the village next Saturday.

Much must be done and the excitement is mounting as my dear Sister Jenny and Brother-in-Law Ian and others too, go about the many preparations to make this a most memorable day. Our village church will have an extra special clean, windows will shine, pews will be polished with vigour, brasses will be cleaned, and flowers skilfully made into bouquets and beautiful displays to decorate this tiny church. The churchyard will be mown, borders and edges trimmed, telephone and post boxes in the village will be given a good wipe clean and a ‘once-over’ and slowly during the coming week folk will travel from all corners of this treasured land and some even further to celebrate the marriage of this lovely couple who have chosen to have their wedding here in this pretty Lincolnshire village

Of course not everyone can be here, some who loved her dearly are no longer with us. I think now of my Hamada whose  love for Ellie was continuous throughout his life. As a little tot he would always take time to  gently chatter with her, her sweetness and eager need for knowledge always brought a huge smile to his lovely face, he always had time for this little beauty. How very proud he was when she graduated from Reading University.

Still he will be close-by in his resting place here in the churchyard, just a step away from the old church door and the footsteps of this beautiful bride and her handsome groom will be but a pace away. I wish he could see this scene, I wish he could see her now  but I’m sure he will know we are all here.  His memorial stone will be bedecked in the  flowers of the wedding decorations in honour of a good and much loved Uncle who would be so proud of the woman his niece has become today. I will drink-in every single moment of this glorious day, I will  whisper all the details into the breeze for him to know all, perhaps if I try hard enough…he will hear?

I will feel his absence greatly, his quiet manner and his lovely smile and the love he had for his family and I know at some time during this fabulous celebration,that Ellie and Stuart will think of him too.

I  wonder also of  Ellie’s Grandparents and the perfect love they all had for her. How thrilled they would be about this union and the love this unique couple so obviously have for each other. How proud they would be for the woman Ellie has become today, for her choices and for this family celebration that continues to keep together this close family for which they created.

The circle of life continues to turn,  a life of love and change and of courage too. How lucky I am to be here with them and my two sons, their families and partners to enjoy this marvellous day to the full. I am sure I will shed a tear or two of joy for I am truly blessed indeed.

May 19, 2014   8 Comments

The Wedding of Miriam and Hubert – Reposted with love for Ellie and Stuart who are to be married in May.

The faces staring out you see
a legacy from the past
linked by love it seems to me
a marriage that will last,
this primed, set and ordered way
made this for Miriam, a special day.
 
The ladies all in hats so fine
brought in boxes and decked in time,
dripping with flowers, covered in lace
see how the little boys know their place.
Brush your hair, pomade at will,
shine your shoes, bring Grandpa’s pills!
 
Sparkling jewels on collars and cuffs
has Aunt Maud brought her muff?
Our handsome pair have walked the aisle
a special breakfast in a while,
but now we must look our best
for Hubert’s ‘heaven’ in nineteen eleven.
 
Don’t forget your gloves or cane,
dear God, don’t let there be more rain!
Bring the chairs for we must pose,
young Jimmy please to wipe your nose.
Are we ready in our places,
a little stern, for happy faces!
 
Poof and Bang! the camera goes
who’d have thought the world would know…

 

All rights reserved with no reproduction of Photo.

Copyright @ August 2009.

With special thanks to Ged Tucker for the 1911 Family Photo

and also to Janey Johnson for the restoration of this wonderful Photo

April 11, 2014   6 Comments

See There.

 
See there the changing of the light,
it’s fervency to bring in sight
as golden heads in breeze do blow
as struggle through the earth they grow.
 
Eyes do see blue circle bright
the Midas touch of lighter nights,
spins the green of breezy branches
this vision of Spring so fast advances.
 
Life passes quickly in easier haze,
as painful days begin to fade…
Unfurled this heart this mist does clear,
It looks to be a splendid year…
 

March 31, 2014   6 Comments

Dreams.

 
In my dreams I see you clearly
no film of tears before my eyes
clear as a picture through a lens
before the dying light arrives.
 
I ascend fast the steps of weary sleep
climbing to reach your call
but alas my efforts are futile,
for you are nowhere, not here at all…
 
In my dreams I see your smile
the twinkling of your eyes
smell the warmth of scented body
I will not wake… I do not die!
 
For nights bring compassion
there is  sympathy in the darkness,
dreams becomes a cosy shroud I
wish not to leave.
 
In my dreams I see you clearly
In my dreams  I quietly grieve…

January 26, 2014   6 Comments

I Missed You.

“Poetry is the opening and closing of a door, leaving those who look through, to guess about what is seen during a moment” Carl Sandburg

I Missed You.

I missed you, when the heated rhythm of Salsa
that feels so like chillies when they touch your tongue
drifted across the dance floor.
 
I missed you as this enticing music reached  my jewelled pinned ears.
Where were you? when the luscious sounds of Sax blues caught my needy toes
so carefully encased in high dancing shoes.
 
Where were those slim ‘sun touched’ hands that would  reach to twirl me to the dance floor.
Where was the graceful dancer whose gentle persuasion  could spin me like a whirlpool,
making me turn  and sway to the sounds of Latin beats and bluesy tones.
 
Tell me, where were those magical eyes those sparkling rays of light,  that always laughed with me.
Where was that smile, those breathy movements on the dance floor,
those feet that could glide and coax  the dancer from my soul.
 
How my heart wants to dance with you once more, instead of standing alone when the music calls to me.
I watched the others spin and whirl but my arms were empty, sadness for your charms that made me feel like sixteen again.
I was never a wallflower but she has found me now.
 
Where were you… when the deliciously heated sound of Salsa reached my ears… where were you?

 

@ Copyright 2009 Susie Hemingway.

 

January 19, 2014   2 Comments

A Belated New Year Wish.

Happy New Year All – Seems I’ve been away from the computer far too long.  A lovely festive holiday break in Buckinghamshire starting with an excellent meal with my eldest Son Matt, his beautiful Wife Sandrine and of course my dear Grandson Manu. A superb evening with a wonderfully delicious meal starting with Goat’s cheese tartlets and then a marvellous almost peasant dish of braised chicken with spicy chorizo sausage and then a super chocolate pudding followed, also some very good cheese!  All this set in beautiful  twinkling Christmas surroundings. They were then leaving for France the following day. A gorgeous meal with them and a perfect start to the holidays.

I then spent the rest of Christmas with my youngest son Jo at his house in the Chilterns. There was a crowd of us, fifteen in all, so much preparation took place in the lead-up to this special day.

Lots of food shopping and preparing  and decorating of  the Xmas table – a lovely jolly atmosphere prevailed the whole time and we settled to a warm cosy Christmas Eve around a lovely open fire in this beautiful old farmhouse high-up in the Chiltern Hills.

A simply super special celebration meal followed on Christmas Day with fun , many smiles and much laughter, the children enjoying their new gifts and delighting in each other and the games played.

So special for me amongst our Christmas party was the arrival and sharing of Christmas day with  a very dear Niece and her two beautiful children all the way from Cairo. We spent so much time catching up and chatting and recalling old times together, it made this Christmas very special to me as we talked about her dear Uncle Hamada bringing back lovely memories for me of times past spent in Egypt at Christmas time, time spent out in the desert under the stars. It was  truly wonderful to spend time with such a delightful group  of people. I arrived back to the Lincolnshire Wolds a week later with lovely memories to recall and mull over. The perfect ending to a good year.

And now we are well into 2014  I wonder what it will bring? What it will bring for all of us?  The weather has been playing such a big part right from the start with the UK in the grip of many storms and bringing with it floods to many areas. Daily storm warnings of quite frightening proportions  and then sadness seeing the loss and damage to so many properties.  And further afield across the  ’big pond’ three quarters of America is engulfed in the coldest weather for more than twenty years with unbelievably low temperatures causing such problems and a danger to lives.

Wherever you are whatever you are doing or however you are feeling – I wish you a joyous, healthy, safe and happy 2014 – with much love and heaps of fun too. Sx

January 7, 2014   4 Comments

Christmas Time For You and Me.

 
Christmas time for you and me
not very different I’m sure you’ll see,
my favourites here complete each year
this yuletide picture of fun and cheer…
 
Christmas bright with candle lights,
good friends to share with you,
log fires that crackle burning bright
to warm your toes on Xmas nights.
Scented smells of cinnamon
sweet mulled wine to sip, as
carols sung of partridges and turtle doves
while crystals fall as snowflakes
twinkle gently from heaven above.
To settle on gleeful faces, catching
warm lashes as paces quicken to
peep in pretty windows dressed to share,
a few of these favourite things…
 
Jenny’s warm crisp mince pies
adds a sparkle to your eyes,
quince jelly and all those yummy things,
brandy butter and children’s grins.
The snap of festive crackers pop,
corny mottos and paper hats.
Laughing faces, silly chatter,
sweet smell of oranges, chestnuts too
oh to share them all  with you…
 
That special Robin who came and sat
near mistletoe for that special kiss,
we hang in bunches not to miss!
The wonder of the child’s eyes
as underneath the tree is spied
coloured ribbon, box entice
if you’ve been good, if you’ve been nice?
Family…friends…laughter…fun…
“Merry Christmas” special ones.
 
Christmas time no different you see
Just as long as you’re here with me….

December 18, 2013   2 Comments

In Christmas Lights.

 
 
Sharp and crisp as snowy nights
crystal clear in prism lights,
gentle orbs that sparkle bright
shining are your eyes tonight.
 
Reflected jewels of liquid amber
like dripping rich fondant creams,
chocolate in the deepest hue,
I bow my head to look at you.
 
Eyes that hold this strangeness well
in candlelight they watch and drink,
forgotten words much time to think.
A bitter pill that’s hard for you,
as fairy lights come into view.
 
White and gold’s, red and greens,
you simply watch in reverent scene,
reflections in those honest eyes
of baubles and of Christmas time.
 
In Christmas lights my poems for you
expressed in love, a poignant view….
 
 
Photo courtesy of Joey Moursi.

December 8, 2013   3 Comments

It’s A Passage – Not A Place To Stay!

Good sensible words – a little mantra perhaps (“it is the price of love”) for those struggling to go forward.  Thoughts of my  friends during this festive month, to all those who read here and who find it even harder at this time of the year. I’m sending a positive prayer to let you know that I am thinking of you, my very best wishes that you continue well, and hope too that you find much needed solace.

December 7, 2013   No Comments

“Simple Words For Loss”

 

Having recently been reading the blogs of several of my widowed friends who lost their husbands about the time of the loss of my dear Hamada and their continued surprise that after three years or more, they are still feeling so much pain.  My heart goes out to them daily and I understand their dismay at not being able to ‘move on’. Grief is so different from person to person, just as days are different for us all.  Days that are filled with fun and busyness  with not much time for reflection are good when you are grieving but they do not happen everyday and are so much more preferable to the days of quiet thoughtfulness. Why do we need I ask, to concern ourselves so much with ‘moving on?’   Yes, we have a duty to show a good cheerful face to the world and to our families and friends. For who wants to spend time with a sad-sack who is constantly looking backwards, casts a shadow on every occasion and not really much fun to be with?

We must try at least to continue well and be supportive friends and a nice person without sadness to be with. But privately you cannot always ‘swallow your grief ‘ and why should you? It is so intrinsically bound up with who you are now and how you feel deep inside. It would be fool-hardy to deny these feelings when they emerge and engulf us.

These feelings of loss help me to continue well in my daily life and I must have these moments of deep quiet reflection and I use this time to pull the good memories and sometimes the not so good, out to ‘lay in front of me’ for a time, to clear my head and my heart of the loss I still feel.

I love to read books and sonnets of powerful overwhelming love that  has been lost. We are not the first or will we be the last to feel acute pain. I use favourite books  and quotes that bring comfort to me, that if I am completely honest make me understand the pain I often feel even three years further on. I miss my special man – will that ever change I doubt it and nothing will bring him back to me. But I refuse on occasions not  to acknowledge the deep pain of missing him on those quiet reflective days I talk about.

Occasionally I post quotes that mean a lot to me. Words that I would have loved to have written myself, words I believe, that sum up the way many of us who have lost our special person are feeling now. Words that many of you who read here, will understand well. I would like if I may to share them with you:

Grief is different, Grief has no distance. Grief comes in waves, paroxysms, sudden apprehension that weakens the knees and blinds the eyes and obliterate the dailiness  of life. – Joan Didion – The Year of Magical Thinking.

A single person is missing you and the whole world is empty – Philippe Aries – Western Attitudes Towards Death

To mourn is to be eaten alive with homesickness for the person – Olive Ann Burns, Cold sassy tree.

My wind is turned to bitter north that was so soft a south before… Arthur Hugh Clough – A Song of Autumn

People imagine that missing a loved one is kind of like missing cigarettes. The first day is really hard but the next day is less hard and so forth, easier and easier the longer you go on. But instead it’s like missing water. Every day you notice the person’s absence more - Anne Tyler, Back to when we were grown-ups.

A bird sings, but they have no song that I can hear – Beryl Markham – West with the Night.

Yes words of sadness they certainly are, but I believe helpful in the understanding of the grieving process that so many of us have difficulty in absorbing, often desire to wish away, and to think we should not be feeling now. But I believe profoundly that we have a private right to grieve, and should not wish this pain away – embrace it, for your heart will never heal if you deny it the time to do so.

Continue to feel your loss my friends without apologies and yes succumb to it on occasions – it is after all our biggest connection to those we loved and must never be under-estimated in the healing process.

Blessings and Peace my friends.

 

October 23, 2013   4 Comments